


Always Loved You Best

by AstroGirl



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Dysfunctional Relationships, Gen, chosen family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 08:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroGirl/pseuds/AstroGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix's ideas about family are kind of messed up. Peter Pan's are even more so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always Loved You Best

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Trope Bingo for the prompt "chosen family," although I'd say it's a somewhat twisted take on the prompt. Spoilers for the first half of season 3.

1\. Felix

Felix had a father once, a hundred years ago. Longer. Three hundred. But fathers are _useless_. They leave, and they leave, until one day they just don't bother coming back. And then you know they weren't ever your family, really. Not enough to deserve the name.

And mothers... Mothers are just as bad. They'll tell you they love you, say that they'll never leave, promise that they'll take care of you always, no matter what. And then they'll give in and die on you, anyway, like the stupid, weak, ordinary people they are. They'll fail you, because that's what they do, what everyone in the real world does. And then you'll be alone, in the woods and on the streets. Alone without so much as a brother to watch your back, because they couldn't be bothered to provide you even that much in the way of family.

But it's all right. No, it's _better_ than all right. Felix doesn't need that place, doesn't need any of those people. Not a father, a mother, a brother, not _anybody_. Because Felix has Peter Pan. Pan, who never changes. Pan, who never fails. Pan who wants him, Pan who needs him. Pan, who knows what he had to do to survive on his own, and thinks it makes him stronger. More worthy. Pan, who _chose_ him. Pan, who will be there forever and ever and ever.

_That's_ what family is. That's what it means, to have someone to belong to.

2\. Pan

"Your mother, your father?" he says with a theatrical, contemptuous wave. "Forget them! This is your home now. And I am the only family you need."

The look on the boy's scarred face is so grateful, so pathetic that it makes him laugh. But that's not all he sees there, oh no. If it were only gratitude, if Felix were only just _that_ kind of lost, there'd be no place for him in Neverland. But there's anger in this boy's eyes, too, and hunger. That deep, burning hunger that desires nothing more than to raze an old life to the ground and erect a glorious, grinning new one on its ashes. Even if Felix's desire is only a pale, weak echo of his own, they are, in this way, akin.

And isn't this so much better than the old kind of family, back in the old world? Isn't this the way it _should_ be? The people we surround ourselves with shouldn't drag us down, weaken us with their needs. And then to call that _love_! Imagine! But Felix will never want more than Pan is willing to give him, because all Felix wants is Pan himself. To hold him and keep him and command him and pat him on the head when he behaves. To run with him through the woods and dance with him by the fire. To make him feel wanted and useful. Useful, above all things, to _Pan_. 

If he'd had a son like this, back in the world, it's possible he never would have left.


End file.
